What’s your role?

Last night I invited a group of friends to watch a documentary about human trafficking. It was the same documentary we were shown by eLiberare back in Bucharest. I felt encouraged that my friends would sacrifice their regular Friday night to become more informed about the issue. Afterwards I created a space for discussion and asked questions that would lead to them sharing their thoughts and feelings. Once again I felt encouraged by their genuine thoughts on what they had seen. Many of my friends were surprised, saddened, and moved. Although the discussion was good, I felt that one more question needed to be posed before closing. I asked “After seeing this, what do you feel your role is?” Two of my friends said it looked like prayer and our day to day way of living. This includes financial giving and where we buy our goods from. Although not many of my friends had something to add at that time, I hope that the question will be on their minds as they go out. Not out of fear or a guilty conscience rather out of a desire to fight for freedom.

I’ve had a difficult time adjusting to life back in Denton and am finding it difficult to open up to those I’m close to. I feel emotionally distant and in distress, I’m finding it much more difficult than I had hoped. I’ve been asked so many times “How was your trip?” to which I never know the right response. It feels like a silly question to me which makes it difficult to answer. Last night when I asked the “What is your role?” question I felt the question posed to me as well. I put a lot of thought into this while in Romania but with the trouble adjusting I almost forgot about my own role and my hopes. I’m sure I’m not the only one struggling adjusting back home and who has briefly forgotten the point of our trip. I’d like to ask again- what’s our role? Was it to travel to Romania, become enlightened, have new experiences, and then leave? I think that’s a great place to start but that shouldn’t be where it ends. What do you feel driven towards? Where are your talents? Where do you thrive? What do you desire? I believe asking ourselves these questions intently will lead to knowing how we can live out our role and find our place in the fight for freedom.

 

How Was Your Trip?

“How was your trip?”

“It was so much fun! I can’t believe I got to go. I can’t even describe it, it was so beautiful and such rewarding work. There was like this guest house and we stayed there and every morning there were croissants and we got to watch peacocks just like living their lives out there while we ate breakfast.”

“How was your trip?”

“It was exhausting and awesome. I’m so tired I can’t think right now, but I know it was worth every bit of work it took to get there. My feet are still swollen from the plane, and right now I can’t explain how much I want some sparkling water and it’s just not readily available here. One day, we were at Open Door and there was no sparkling water and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me all day till I realized I hadn’t had any sparkling water.”

“How was your trip?”

“Good.”

This is all I say now, but what I think is, “Did you know that “the forest” really means the forest? When you get in a van with a Romanian security guard, your fellow students, and a few village kids, please understand that he really means that you’re going to the forest- and that you’ll stop at IKEA for lunch on the way.”

I just say “good”, but what I mean is, “It stretched me all the way. I could physically feel the strain sometimes. But now I feel bigger and more capable now, and like I might get away with actually achieving something. I figured out how I can be useful to a new generation of passionate and incredible students without ever expecting to. I almost (but couldn’t) cry at the thought of being seven years old and having lived through as much as these children have, and even the freedom to cry felt like a privilege. I can’t explain what feeling that particular privilege meant, but it shifted something in me and I’m not sure what to do with that.”

I answer this way because “good” is all you need from me to be happy that I got to have this experience. You don’t need me to describe the decision-making process which leads a group of grown women to resort to sliding down the side of a gorge because “hey, it’s better than falling.”

But maybe you want me to, and I’m just saying it in the wrong words. Maybe I’m not so great at describing the sad and great beauty of a Parliament building built with care for a leader who didn’t, or how included and city-ish I felt on the metro. Or how frustrating and worthwhile the language barrier between me and a Roma girl was when we finally figured out that we both like to sing, but not the same songs.

I’ll keep trying to find those words. I’ll take cues from my wonderful groupmates who represent a diversity of experience and perspective and who taught me more about the inner working of groups than I could ever have learned in a classroom.

My trip (which like totally was not just a trip) was good, and I am grateful for it.

 

Loading. . .

I spent a lot of time observing in Romania. As an introvert, this is a routine I’m used to. Since I’ve gotten back to Texas, however, I’ve realized how little I’ve stopped to actually think about things. If I’m completely honest with myself (and you all), this trip took a lot out of me. I came back emotionally and physically exhausted from going going going, absorbing the emotions of those around me, and feeling like I was hearing all of these heartbreaking things, all while having no idea what to do about it. My mind and my heart were so full that I felt overwhelmed. I didn’t want to think about it.

Even now, I think I still kind of feel that way. But after reading Enslaved: True Stories of Modern Day Slavery for one of our final assignments, I felt the cogs in my head churning again. I felt the same inspiration I felt sitting in the chairs at the Youth Hub, listening to Ioana’s conviction and passion. I also felt relief. All of the distress I felt about not knowing what to do with the ominous question ‘what’s next?’ was laid out for me at the end of the book. Now I just have to pick one and run with it! After that, another. There’s so much we can still do after this trip and I feel so grateful my impact doesn’t have to stop here.

Romania has had such a huge impact on me. Slowly, as my mind and my body return to me, I’m discovering how much of me has changed. Doubts have been reconciled; I’ve been given a firm and confident voice to combat with. From the moment I signed up for this trip, I didn’t know what I was getting into. I jumped in head first and refused to let myself look back. I wanted to grow and this felt like the perfect opportunity. And it was. So much more than I could have guessed or imagined.

I’m a new person. And I have so many people and places to thank for that. Since I’ve gotten back, I’ve seen human trafficking everywhere. It’s astonishing, and a little heartbreaking, to realize how much of this goes on right in front of us. And not just in dark allies, the sketchy areas, in the middle of the night. In broad daylight. Squeezed between shops in a strip mall in the suburbia. I want everyone to know! I’ve wanted to type up paragraphs on Facebook, make a Youtube video, force people to think about where their clothes and their food comes from. It makes me feel a little helpless because some people don’t want to hear it. Because that means they have to be uncomfortable and make changes. That’s what I’ve always run from, so I get it. Maybe I can start leading by example.

There’s so much more I could say, but I feel like I’m just typing my stream of conscience as I go and that can’t be very coherent outside of my head. I apologize! It seems like my reflection from the trip is a little delayed. But I promise this is a spark! Sitting down to type this, to focus on what I learned, is what I needed. Imagine that!

 

Comfortable?

Are you comfortable? Can I do anything to make you feel more comfortable? Was your bed comfortable? Just do what you are comfortable with. Are your shoes comfortable? Is this within your comfort zone?….I’ve come to find our society, myself included, values comfortability. I have always had the idea that if I was able to make enough money in the future to just be comfortable then I would be happy. But as I sit on the airplane in a seat that could only be described as comfortable for a maximum of four hours I can’t help but think that comfort isn’t all that important. 
I don’t know many people who would feel particularly comfortable with traveling to Romania for three weeks with complete strangers studying and joining anti-human trafficking efforts of people from all over the world. What a shame it would have been if I had let my selfish desire of being comfortable keep me from one of the most defining experiences of my life. 
As I sat in my hotel room the first night in Bucharest I longed for comforts of my home. I couldn’t imagine the weeks ahead and that overwhelmed me. Looking back, I realize there were many moments that were difficult. Some of the most challenging days of my life were spent in Romania. Learning about the depravity of humanity is not a comfortable experience. I had to learn that those time of being completely overwhelmed with the unknown are part of the beauty of life. Those days I was close to the point of feeling hopeless allowed me to reaffirm where my hope is. It allowed me to test my faith and push myself out of my box. It was in those moments that I saw the incredible resiliency of humans and the definition of sacrificial love. 

This picture is a complete representation of the beauty in being uncomfortable. We hiked up a mountain with very little access to what Americans would describe as a suitable hiking trail which made my lungs and calf muscles uncomfortable, my backpack full of water became very uncomfortable, the direct sunlight creating an very hot atmosphere was not that pleasant, and even the rock I’m sitting on was extremely uncomfortable. Honestly, I didn’t care about one single ounce of my lack of comfort in this moment. This view of creation was worth every step and struggled breath. 
So with all of that said, I hope you can find the beauty in the things of life that are not comfortable. Push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Allow yourself to experience the world without your precious comforts because I think you will learn more about this beautiful life we are given than ever before. 

Thanks for reading my thoughts and experiences. 
-Madison

There and Back Again, a grad student’s tale

There are things we must remember, contemplate, and those we must forget. This final blog is one of reflection and expression of a three-week trip that changed our lives and futures forever. We will return home to our friends and families who have never experienced what we went through. They will not understand. They will want photos and souvenirs, what is this, what is that; OH! How beautiful! They might ask about working with the girls and the children, but they will never feel what we felt. Our wrists clad with beaded bracelets, What’s with the bracelets? Why are there so many? The hundreds of bracelets we made with women, the boys and girls at the schools. Relearning how to tie those knots from the 1990’s, the younger students, re-teaching the older ones. The magic shared between a child and ourselves while putting much or little effort into arbitrary bead color selections, or sometimes the stress of ensuring there are just enough red, yellow, and blue beads to make the Romanian flag. People will stare at the bracelets and wonder how they could be so meaningful. We know. We know we changed lives. We know those children are wearing their bracelets and thinking about Denisa, or Andrea, Mary, Anna and any other girls from the trip with Romanian namesakes.

I turn to my first blog. There were four things I hoped to keep in mind while abroad. Reviewing on what we did, the places we saw, and the people we met, I can now say this.

• Do not turn a blind eye. Every time we walked down a street I would look up. I would look up and see the apartments above us, many filled with trapped women exploited for sex. Alleyways with bars with blacked out windows. Covers for sex shops. Every beggar on the street, someone forced to bring home money or face a beating. I never turned a blind eye.
• I met so many amazing people on this trip. There were times some of us did not get along. Tensions would run high and a general feeling of unhappiness would cloud the trip’s purpose. This never lasted long. We each dealt with our times of anger or sadness in our own ways. Then we were family. Braiding hair, cutting hair, pictures, and wishing Kevin could fly and void us of his miserable company.
• Play to my strengths. I was not a leader on the trip. I had several times where I gave briefs on topics related to the day’s activities. Classmates came to me and said they learned from me. Even in an unofficial capacity, I have the ability to reach people. To teach them. To interact and have fun.
• Have fun. I love fun. The dance party day at the shelter was one of the best days of the trip. Dancing with inhibitions makes me happy. An endorphin rush.
  1. Hidden art galleries
  2. Underground restaurants from 1360
  3. Problem solving a window shade that would not roll up
  4. Friend cheese and French fries as a meal… twice

Now we’re back again. From our unexpected journey across the world. Classmates have volunteered for anti-trafficking organizations in Dallas. Some are screening trafficking awareness movies with friends. Getting our messages out there. So we are here. Inviting you to share in our experiences and listen to our stories.

Come with questions and prepare to be educated.

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Missing IKEA Hotdogs?

We were advised to take a few days to write this final blog post in order to have time to process. However, the assignment is due in less than 24 hours, and my brain is still scrambling. So I apologize if this final result is not very well put together but we’re just going to have to trust the process with this one. 

Worth It?

“Was this trip worth it?” Denise asked on one of our very first days in Bucharest, “Or would our money have been better spent if we just mailed it?”

I’ve thought about this question many times throughout my trip and after.

I think the answer is up to us. We can make our experience outweigh the monetary value of the trip through our own individual talents. For me, that means using my WOO perhaps to inform others about human trafficking. I know I am also good at keeping moral high when we are starting to feel a little too burdened.

And though I do plan on spreading the word in my own community, I know that I am not finished with my hands on work with survivors. This experience opened my mind to not only the severity of the problem but also to the many opportunities available to help end it.

 

Lessons Learned

I expected to learn a lot from the experiences and people of Romania. However, I was shocked at the knowledge I gained from my fellow classmates and instructors. My amazing team rewired my brain and my way of thinking. They taught me how to process as well as how to see process in others, how to think before speaking in order to ask the right questions, how to take the perspective of a stranger, and how to see strength in every person.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my team. You are all unique and important. You all contributed immensely to this cause. It is surreal that we were strangers four weeks ago

*sorry that I would get grumpy and upset

**Thank you for putting up with me when you were grumpy and upset.

 

What Sticks Out?

I asked myself, “what made the most impact on you?”

It would be nice if the answer was a life-altering epiphany that could be quoted for years to come and eventually be sold as bumper stickers

But in truth, the things that stick out are certain events and interactions that may seem quite trivial to an onlooker.

• Learning how to pronounce multumesc from a 7 year old (it only took two weeks to ​perfect)

• going down a water slide upwards of 15 times with a girl- neither of us spoke each others language. But it turns out the charades of going down a slide are pretty universal when one finds oneself at a water park.

• sharing my love of glitter with some lively kids at a park

• stressing over a very detailed activity plan in Oradea and finding great relief when said plan went out the window and proceeding to wing it

• talking to locals: their insight was unexpected and shocking but an important part of the ​experience

• building up the courage to point at a random menu item, having no idea what it is, and ​being served chicken livers…

• licking a wall of salt (probably how I got so sick when we came back)

• teaching kids the PLUR handshake when exchanging bracelets

I love this work. I love the person this trip brought out in me. To the resilient survivors and courageous staff in Romania, to my extraordinary team and fearless leaders, multumesc.

What do I do now??

It has been a week since we landed back in DFW and what a bitter-sweet feeling it has been. I’m beyond happy to be back home, sleeping in my own bed, going to familiar places, and talking to familiar people, but at the same time I am missing Romania and the people. I have also felt a little depressed. I am not sure why. I suppose it is because I have not really been able to express my true thoughts and feelings from what I learned about human trafficking. I think it was Hope that said to not feel discouraged when someone doesn’t want to hear your story. But it’s hard not to feel that way. I feel like I have all of these questions and emotions that are just bottled up inside and I need to let them out. I need someone to listen to my feelings, and answer my questions. I came on this trip because I wanted to learn more about human trafficking. A couple of semesters ago someone had briefly brought it up during class and I thought “Oh my goodness, this is terrible. I want to know more.” I was anxious to leave home and go to Romania, but I am so incredibly glad that I did. Going on this trip certainly provided me more knowledge about human trafficking. I believe it was on our last day when Julie asked us what we were planning on doing with all of this new knowledge and to be honest, I don’t really know. There is a lot that I want to do, but I just don’t know where to get started. I always want to just go all in and change everything at once. But I don’t think that can happen in this case. This requires steps. Going on the trip, and gathering more information was the first baby step. Now, I need to find the next step. My next step is to try and reach out to the community, maybe talk with my co-workers. We work with at-risk youth, and I believe it is extremely important for them to learn about human trafficking and ways to prevent it since poverty and vulnerability are huge factors in being trafficked. I hope that everyone’s voices will be heard and I am hopeful, just like the survivors that they will be.

Home!

Today marks a week since I got back from Romania. After being home for a week, it still doesn’t feel real that I’m home for good. I feel as though I left a part of me on the other side of the world. Even though I’ve been confused on how to feel now that I’m home, I do know for a fact that this trip changed my life and that I’m more motivated than ever to make moves in my professional and personal life.

When I got home, I was so excited to tell everybody about my experience! I was ready to tell everyone how my days went from start to finish. My parents were the first people that I got to talk to. As always, they were genuinely intrested in knowing what I did. But I soon came to realize that Hope was right during our last debriefing- some people won’t care!

Sadly, I realized that many of my friends didn’t seem genuine when they asked how my trip was. Almost seemed like I was bothering or bragging to them when I said anything. So I kept my mouth shut. I came to realize that it was okay if not everyone wanted to hear how my trip impacted my life. Not everyone needed to know! I have a few people in my life that genuinely care and I know they have a few people who will genuinely listen to them when they tell of my stories. Although I wish I had more people to share my story with, I have a few. And if I’m able to teach them the new information that I learned throughout those three weeks then I’m solid. 

Now that I’m home I’m excited for this new chapter in my life. I’ve signed up for an orientation for Traffick911 next week. I’m excited for the new information I’ll be learning. I’ve already sent in applications to volunteer at different organizations and got kind of bummed out because most organizations require you to be 21 or older to work on their teams. But I’ve been in contact with some organizations that say they have younger volunteers who put together presentations in aims of preventing human trafficking. Getting up in front of a crowd isn’t really my strong suit but I think I’d benefit from getting out of my comfort zone. I’m pretty surprised at how proactive been since coming home. Actually, I’m not surprised, I’m happy. I’ve never been passionate about anything to actively seek out opportunities within a certain field and that excites me. I’m excited for the opportunities that may come my way. 

As I write this, I’m sitting at Starbucks with a big smile on my face. I’m so happy that I had the opportunity to work with organizations that empower survivors in so many different aspects of life. I’m lucky that I got to work with at risk youth in the country side of Romania. I’m happy that we were able to bring a smile on their faces even if it was just for a short amount of time. I’m blessed to have made life long friends who went on this journey with me. 

All in all, I am THANKFUL!!! I am thankful that this trip was part of the Study Abroad program at UNT. I’m thankful for the hard work that Julie and Hope put in to make a memorable experience for our class. I am thankful for organizations that allowed us into their homes to teach us about their work and to allow us to work with some of the most resilient women and children I’ve ever met. I am thankful to each and every one of the students that went on this trip with me. Each and every one of you, made a difference in my life! I got to know many of the students personally as we had to spend such a long time together😝 I can not wait to see how your lives fold out as I know you are all compassionate hardworking souls. I can’t wait to see how my life plays out since this trip! 

One Week Back Home Now..

Really crazy to think about how just a week ago, I was at the airport in Budapest starting my trip back home. It is crazy to think how just two weeks ago, I was traversing the countryside in Romania via bus. It is crazy to think how just three weeks ago, I was walking and exploring all of Bucharest, meeting people with Open Door and eLiberare. It is crazy to think how just four weeks ago, I was starting my journey and trying to figure out what is going on? Now, I am back in Texas. I have seen family, old friends, my girlfriend, and new people, and they have all asked about my time in Romania and Hungary. I tell them the same thing, after I have given them their souvenir (gosh I bought so many!) “it was a life changing experience for me.”

Reflecting on the trip after being back home for a week, it was a really remarkable trip. I met many wonderful people and made new friends (gosh I miss them all! Need to see them again!), I saw some of the most beautiful places I have ever seen, and learned many things about an issue that is plaguing humanity. I always try to explain to people the stories I heard, the people I met and talked to, but they have no idea or can’t even grasp the concept, because it is just so unbearable to even imagine. That is one thing I believe this trip has served me the most, it served me the truth. It wasn’t just some youtube video explaining human trafficking, I saw and heard the real deal when I was there. Whether is was from survivors or at risk population, I was able to see it with my own eyes. Whenever I get involved into politics someday, I will make human trafficking legislation a much bigger priority in America than it is now. The word needs to be spread about this plight on the world. Would I do it again? Absolutely! This trip has really changed my perspective on life. Some of the best memories I will ever have will be because of this wonderful trip, in with wonderful people, doing wonderful things. Also, it feels truly amazing and blessed to be able to do things that not many people have done in their lifetime. I do not know anyone else that has been to Romania/Hungary, did the things we did, or have done anything similar. It really is heartwarming for me to have gone on that trip.. I will use the trip and all of its amazing things it has done to me to my advantage to better myself, my family, my friends, the United States, and the world.

Processing

I left Texas for Europe about a month ago and I still feel like I am running at full speed. Romania was everything and more than I can explain, and much much more that I can explain in French as I reconnect with family in Belgium and Paris. Every single day held meaning and life lessons I so desperately want to grad a hold of, but every day that I stay in Europe more and more is packed on.

It definitely sounds like I’m complaining, but hear me out:

• Romania is beautiful. Let’s just start there. I truly did not know what to expect but I was greeted with amazing greenery, flowers at every turn, mountains, hills, and amazing cuisine.

• Sex sells and Romania takes full advantage. It doesn’t take long once you get used to the beauty of Europe and Romania’s unique charm to see that there are as many sex shops, massage parlors, and business fronts for human trafficking all over Bucharest. As much as I would have loved to just dwell on the beauty of the city, this is a cold hard fact that’s pretty tough to swallow.
• “If you want to do this work, you have to be a little crazy.” NGO’s are legit and they give me hope. We worked with amazing partners on this trip that have forever impacted my life. Between the human trafficking prevention NGO that hosted us, the trafficking shelter that welcomed us, and the schools and children that uplifted us, we were all truly inspired to be crazy.

• Breakfast food will always be my favorite but I’m sorry – Europe does it way better

 

• Working with the Policy Center in Romania was one of my favorite days. The Roma children were so sweet and I learned an insane amount of their people’s history. I think its so cool that while the organization is a Policy Center for change in their community, they saw the significance of grassroots efforts and have been educating Roma children to break generational chains of poverty that fuel drug abuse, trafficking, and more.

• Hiking is an amazing feeling! Challenge yourself to go beyond your limit.

• Always, always, always seek to immerse yourself in cultures different than your own. You will live richer despite having less money. You will leave with a stronger understanding of who you are and what your purpose is.

I may have kept the traveling going right after Romania but I definitely have not forgotten the impact that this trip made on my life. I’m ready to be a fighter for human rights and a firm advocate for those who are marginalized in society. My life is not my own and I am even more sure of that fact after being a part of this trip and having the pleasure of doing life with the amazing people that were a part of the study abroad trip.

Huge shout out to Eryn Butler and Brandon Corpus for playing a role in getting me here. Huge thank you to Julie and Hope for their endless support, wisdom, and guidance.

THANK YOU to everyone who has prayed, donated, and been a part of this journey.

I’m blessed beyond measure and now more equipped to also be a blessing others.

 

With Love,

 

Andrea Paola Masamba